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“Failure to launch” is a term that refers to young adults who remain in the home of their parents or caregivers,  for a longer period of time than what is traditionally expected. There are many reasons young adults struggle to gain or maintain independence. 
Unfortunately, youth experiencing failure to launch are often misunderstood, even by loved ones and friends. What may seem like simple lack of motivation and unwillingness to take steps toward independence is usually something much more deeply rooted and difficult to conquer. 

How Failure to Launch Starts and How it Presents
As with any situation involving human behavior, there is no singular presentation for failure to launch. Some young adults may have attempted to go to college but found that the pressures of school were overwhelming, while others may have become derailed by mental health or substance abuse. Many people in this situation have completed college and returned home, only to find it difficult to maintain a job or budget for rent and other expenses. There are also young adults who never left home after high school ended, paralyzed by fear about going out on their own or underemployed and not feeling capable of self-sufficiency. 

Young adults in this type of situation may present in a variety of ways. They may seem withdrawn or sullen, irritable, or lacking self-confidence, or conversely, it may seem as though they are ok and not experiencing any emotional distress, but simply can not take forward steps toward their future. Whether they are an open book or fairly guarded about their emotions, it is likely that the young adult who remains at home is experiencing underlying complicated feelings about it. Many people in situations like this feel guilty, ashamed, or embarrassed about living at home, even if they do not regularly share that sentiment. Defensiveness and reluctance to talk about the situation is another common trait in young adults who are living in the family home for an extended period of time. 

Often even the most emotionally reticent teens connect with holiday wonder. It is, indeed, the most wonderful time of the year (or it is supposed to be, according to the song and the hyper-energetic festivity).

The holidays are likely to look far different this year, with Covid lurking around. Many of us are changing our plans and scaling back holiday gatherings, postponing trips to see family and friends, all in the name of safe social distancing practices. These are the wise choices we are making to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe, but that doesn’t make it fun.

Even if your teen isn’t saying it openly, the shift in traditional festivities is likely impacting them emotionally. Teens who are already prone to depression and anxiety may feel the affect of these changes with greater depth but may not have the ability to articulate it.

If you are worried about your teen’s emotional health this holiday season, here are some things to pay attention to that may indicate internal struggle.

Sometimes anxiety and depressive symptoms aren’t outwardly noticeable and can impact your teen. A depressed or anxious teen might also be experiencing:

Ask any group of parents about their fears for their teenager and you will get a zillion different responses. There are plenty of things to worry about when it comes to teens (we earn these gray hairs, afterall). Out of the long list of issues parents worry about, substance abuse is certainly in the top five. Some parents may worry a lot about their teen’s drug and alcohol use, while others tend to think about substance use as a rite of passage, and as a result may be less concerned about it. Regardless of where we stand on the topic, it can be  helpful to understand more about substance use so we can be proactive and compassionate with kids who may be struggling.

Ten million people between the ages of 12 and 29 need treatment for substance abuse. Understanding drug and alcohol use patterns in teens is important because most people who later struggle with addiction start at a young age, some as young as 12 or 13 years old.

The graphic above shows varying types of street drugs teens typically abuse, but the number one substance teens access is alcohol. One study shows that an alarming 4.3 million youth report binge drinking within the past month.

Often, we feel at a loss as to how to protect our kids from the detrimental effects of substances. We hear stories about teen overdose deaths, sexual assaults that are committed during intoxication, car accidents, legal involvement and so on.